Filthy Language

This may be a little off-color, so if either of my moms are reading this, I apologize. ;)

I've been making a list of normal, harmless, every-day German words which are so phonically similar to offensive English words that an American could possibly confuse the two. Here are the English spellings of some of my favorites. Click the word to get it in German.

Douche
Dick
Guilt
Fart
Cunts
Hell
Gross

I was on the receiving end of "douche" and "dick" before I knew German. Ute came to visit Saskia at Virginia Tech, and on seeing how skinny I was, said "Oh! You are not very dick". Back at my apartment, I was surprised when she said "Please. Do you have a douche?"

It goes both ways though. The German for "hot" is "heiß" (the ß is a double "s", a bit like a snake's hiss). In English you can say "I am hot" when the temperature is high, but if you say "Ich bin heiß" to a German, you are saying you are horny. Also, the German for "humid" or "muggy" is "schwül" (notice the umlaut!), but the German for "homosexual" is "schwul". Hilarity ensues.

Once, one of my classmates once tried to say "It is hot and muggy" and accidentally said "I am horny and gay". Good times.

Under no circumstances should you tell a German to "flick it".